.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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