We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
only you would photoshop your dick
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.