everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.