The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man