Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
her facebook's as public as her vagina
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
