I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
