Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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