they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
