we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
