Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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