Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize