do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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