How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
