Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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