thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
