What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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