I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
