I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I will pee on everything he values.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
