Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
