I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
