i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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