drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Randomize
