I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I am naked and annoyed.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
