I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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