She tied me up with her honor cords...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
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It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
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You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.