Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
