On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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