when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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