So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Actions speak louder than pants.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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