Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
