god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
