i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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