if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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