Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
