hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
