my sisters under your porch take her home
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
