he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I wish you could order shots online.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
