just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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