Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize