hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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