I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
