I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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