Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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