I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
