i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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