real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
