I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
