I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Panties = found
Randomize
