I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
