I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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