and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
