so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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