i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
