i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
