The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
