i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
