I smell stomach acid.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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