I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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