I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
