"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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