i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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