i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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